Transcript

There are ways to get the best from yourself, without taxing yourself to any greater degree. One of these processes is what I call contracting with yourself. Here's how it works.

Suppose you want to accomplish something by the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the month, any given time period consider this: you can draw up a one page contract that spells out exactly what you want to achieve all the terms and then post it either on your desk, on your wall, give it to your spouse, give it to your co-worker, give it to your children, give it to someone who will hold you accountable. Have the actual date by which you'll achieve this task or activity.

And if you really want to up your probability of completing what you said you would have the other person hold a small sum and escrow, maybe $500 or $1000 dollars so if you don't achieve what you said you would, they get to keep that sum. Now that's just to spice up things.

Amazingly, if you just contract with yourself, even if you don't have somebody else around who can hold you accountable the mere fact of your putting your goal on paper, in the form of a contract that you post so you can see it on a regular basis dramatically increases the probability that you'll achieve that goal. So that's one way you can be more effective and not tax yourself in any measurable way. It doesn't take a whole heck of a lot to put that contract together.

Another technique is to be a consultant to yourself. Now here's how this works. Suppose you're facing a certain situation and you're not sure which way to turn. What if you were to refer to yourself in the third person?

In my case, I would say, "Hmm. What should Jeff do next?" Now, by referring to myself in the third person, I automatically gain perspective that normally does not accrue when I simply think to myself silently, "Hmm. What should I do next?" By saying, "What should Jeff do next?" I gain the perspective that an outside party might lend to the situation.

I look at myself as another person who's seeking guidance. I come up with ideas and insights, almost a self brain storming process if you will, that leads me to behaviors or activities that I might not have otherwise chosen. So when you find yourself in a bit of a bind go to the third person technique and say, "What should Jeff (or whatever your name happens to be) do next?" And you'll be amazed at the number of answers that might be generated.

Finally, learn to say, "No." more often than you have. Too often in this workaday world we find ourselves volunteering, getting on lists, being oversubscribed, overbooked and generally overwhelmed. You have to learn to say, "No" so you have the ability to say, "Yes" to the things that are more important to your career and your life.

Now, learning to say no to another requires some tact, some diplomacy, and certainly some good will. The best possible reason you can tell another person that you can't help them out is to tell them that you've already reserved that time for your family and then, of course, make that the truth. But, on a continual basis you need to say, "No" to others so you can free up the time you need to say, "Yes" to those things that are important to you. Here are some quick and easy ways to let others down gently and effectively.

* "You know, I'd really like to but that time is already committed."

* "I'm booked up right now, but try me again next time that comes around."

* "I would, but I'm so overcommitted right now I really wouldn't be giving you my best effort, and that's what I want to give you when I do say yes."